Tomorrow morning, September 29th, Keith, Seth & Kelley, Skye and I are going to fly to Wisconsin for Keith's nephew Kendall's wedding:)
Cameron, our non-flyer, has gone ahead to Grandma and Grandpa's in Pa. and will drive them up to meet us in Baraboo at Uncle Denny's and Aunt Nancy's. Keith's sister Jeannie & her husband Ken and their family will travel with them (they only live 30 minutes away from Grandma & Grandpa:))
Skye and I love to fly, so we are eager and excited! Her first and only flight was to Italy two summers ago, and that was a biggie! Keith doesn't mind a plane trip. Seth & Kelley only do it because they need to---Kelley and Skye don't have the time to drive.
Getting together with the McFarlands is great fun:) We enjoy one another and all the cousins are close. That's unusual since we do live far apart; Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and North Carolina. I think it's a result of having weeklong get togethers every few years:)
So today is a day of packing and finishing up last minute details. We have to be at the airport about 5am in the morning. So, our weekend will start early:)
A sweet time away celebrating with Kendall and Kristen and the McFarland clan:)!!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
A September day
Monday, September 25th, my brother Mark and I traveled down east and south to the little town of Dublin, NC, in Bladen County, to attend the funeral of our Uncle Ewell, the last brother of the Robeson clan to pass on. (Our Daddy has been gone for almost 12 years)
It was a beautiful day, and it's always good to see dear relatives that we seldom see anymore. Uncle Ewell had lived a long and blessed life, having turned 91 in August. He was a Godly man who loved the Lord, his family, his church, and playing Scrabble. (I thought it was ironic I had a game of Scrabble in my car:))
The service was special. Two retired pastors spoke who had known him well. We heard the details of his life that Mark & I didn't normally see. He was a lay speaker and active in the community all of his life. We sang "Beulah Land" and "The Land of an Uncloudy Day".
I knew he was creative as well. He made grapevine wreaths and baskets in his later years after he retired from farming and running a grocery store. He also liked telling stories and would slyly "pull your leg", as the old saying goes:) All the Robeson's loved to laugh:)
We caught up on news from our many cousins, and enjoyed the fellowship of family. Uncle Ewell and Aunt Isabelle had 10 children, so you can imagine how much fun it was for our family to go to their house as we were growing up:) All ten were there and everyone felt the day was one of celebration.
A day of happy rememberances, a day to get reacquainted, a day to say good-bye to a gentle man who loved to grin and smile.
He always loved a visit from his neices and nephews too:)
It was a beautiful day, and it's always good to see dear relatives that we seldom see anymore. Uncle Ewell had lived a long and blessed life, having turned 91 in August. He was a Godly man who loved the Lord, his family, his church, and playing Scrabble. (I thought it was ironic I had a game of Scrabble in my car:))
The service was special. Two retired pastors spoke who had known him well. We heard the details of his life that Mark & I didn't normally see. He was a lay speaker and active in the community all of his life. We sang "Beulah Land" and "The Land of an Uncloudy Day".
I knew he was creative as well. He made grapevine wreaths and baskets in his later years after he retired from farming and running a grocery store. He also liked telling stories and would slyly "pull your leg", as the old saying goes:) All the Robeson's loved to laugh:)
We caught up on news from our many cousins, and enjoyed the fellowship of family. Uncle Ewell and Aunt Isabelle had 10 children, so you can imagine how much fun it was for our family to go to their house as we were growing up:) All ten were there and everyone felt the day was one of celebration.
A day of happy rememberances, a day to get reacquainted, a day to say good-bye to a gentle man who loved to grin and smile.
He always loved a visit from his neices and nephews too:)
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Grieving over a son
I write this with fear and trepidation.
I have not faced the ultimate pain of losing a child.
But I feel such sorrow when it happens in our community.
I take it personally.
Last weekend a student from Apex High school was killed in a freak accident. Oh, what a great tragedy to lose a child. Oh, what sadness to lose a young person on the threshhold of adulthood. Oh, the emptiness of losing someone so dedicated to helping others.
Then again, oh, the emptiness of a child if they were struggling to find their place in the world.
This past week I sent a card to a precious friend who lost her son in Iraq almost 2 years ago. Her son's birthday was September 13th. She is suffering deeply, fighting to stay afloat as she navigates through this sorrow. She's attempting to come to grips with this wound, a wound that will never go away.
People remembering Brad is some comfort, and she emailed me that it was good to get a card.
I have another dear friend whose son commited suicide more than 10 years ago. Oh, the pain and agony in that is hard to describe:( She allowed me into some of her deep pit. I must say that was a gift to me. That I could be with her and cry with her. There may have been a little comfort there. In time, and with God's mercy, she has come to a place where she lives with heartbreaking sorrow but is not controlled by it. Her big fear? People forgetting Paul.
How do we comfort others?
We pray, we give a hug or hold a hand, and/or cry. We send a card or a note, or two or three. We say very little. We listen. We call or email on birthdates and anniversaries.
We remember.
I know I need to send a card to the family of the student that died.
Every word sent in comfort is a balm of tenderness in the darkest of times.
I have not faced the ultimate pain of losing a child.
But I feel such sorrow when it happens in our community.
I take it personally.
Last weekend a student from Apex High school was killed in a freak accident. Oh, what a great tragedy to lose a child. Oh, what sadness to lose a young person on the threshhold of adulthood. Oh, the emptiness of losing someone so dedicated to helping others.
Then again, oh, the emptiness of a child if they were struggling to find their place in the world.
This past week I sent a card to a precious friend who lost her son in Iraq almost 2 years ago. Her son's birthday was September 13th. She is suffering deeply, fighting to stay afloat as she navigates through this sorrow. She's attempting to come to grips with this wound, a wound that will never go away.
People remembering Brad is some comfort, and she emailed me that it was good to get a card.
I have another dear friend whose son commited suicide more than 10 years ago. Oh, the pain and agony in that is hard to describe:( She allowed me into some of her deep pit. I must say that was a gift to me. That I could be with her and cry with her. There may have been a little comfort there. In time, and with God's mercy, she has come to a place where she lives with heartbreaking sorrow but is not controlled by it. Her big fear? People forgetting Paul.
How do we comfort others?
We pray, we give a hug or hold a hand, and/or cry. We send a card or a note, or two or three. We say very little. We listen. We call or email on birthdates and anniversaries.
We remember.
I know I need to send a card to the family of the student that died.
Every word sent in comfort is a balm of tenderness in the darkest of times.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Sandrock Acres on a September Saturday
Just spent the day with part of the Robeson clan celebrating Mama's 85th birthday. A fun day. A tiring day. My brother Lindsay was the gracious host. We had a cookout and, with my brother in law George's help, Lindsay cooked the hamburgers and hot dogs. Seth picked up the KFC:) Cameron brought drinks. My sister Christy and her daughter Michelle and I made the potato salad, deviled eggs and cole slaw:) My nephew Jake and his wife, Krystal, had made a beautiful white two-tiered birthday cake topped with a young photo of Mama--it was so pretty and delicious!
Christy's twin daughters came for a while, Amy & Michelle. And cutest of all, Christy's twin granddaughters Harley & Kendyll (8) and Chrissy (5), all who kept darting in and out and around and about:)
From the time Keith and I drove into Lindsay's driveway with Mama, she didn't recognize where she had lived for 50 years. She wondered if we knew the folks who lived there?
She refused to believe it was her birthday. She was frustrated when we gave her cake and presents. Actually, she was agitated most of the day:( We think there was too much going on, and she didn't understand why she wasn't in Lobelia, her childhood home, with her Mama..? (That monster Alzheimer's always rears it's head somehow:( )
After Mama opened her gifts and while Christy and Keith kept her company, the rest of the McFarland crew, Amy, George and Lindsay hiked to the creek and up the back rise along my property lines. It was a beautiful day for it:) Plenty of spider webs everywhere though, so Lindsay and George took turns leading the group waving a stick back and forth to remove the invisible clingy nuisances. Thankfully Lindsay had used the bushhog to mow a wide path throughout the brush and weeds which made our walking easy. The wide meadow, my favorite place on the farm, was freshly mowed also. It looked tempting enough to draw us over to play ball or tag or catch fireflies--which is what we did as kids:)
Cameron, Seth, Christy, and Lindsay played horseshoes for a while when we returned from our walk (Seth was the champion:)). Then it was time to go. Mama couldn't be put off any longer. She had been ready for an hour or two and was getting antsy. These days she's not content anywhere long.
So a nice day came to an end.
It was meant for Mama, but, in the end, she was only with us in spirit.
Today was a day for the rest of us:) I will remember it fondly as time shared eating, hiking, visiting, playing, laughing together on the farm:)
Christy's twin daughters came for a while, Amy & Michelle. And cutest of all, Christy's twin granddaughters Harley & Kendyll (8) and Chrissy (5), all who kept darting in and out and around and about:)
From the time Keith and I drove into Lindsay's driveway with Mama, she didn't recognize where she had lived for 50 years. She wondered if we knew the folks who lived there?
She refused to believe it was her birthday. She was frustrated when we gave her cake and presents. Actually, she was agitated most of the day:( We think there was too much going on, and she didn't understand why she wasn't in Lobelia, her childhood home, with her Mama..? (That monster Alzheimer's always rears it's head somehow:( )
After Mama opened her gifts and while Christy and Keith kept her company, the rest of the McFarland crew, Amy, George and Lindsay hiked to the creek and up the back rise along my property lines. It was a beautiful day for it:) Plenty of spider webs everywhere though, so Lindsay and George took turns leading the group waving a stick back and forth to remove the invisible clingy nuisances. Thankfully Lindsay had used the bushhog to mow a wide path throughout the brush and weeds which made our walking easy. The wide meadow, my favorite place on the farm, was freshly mowed also. It looked tempting enough to draw us over to play ball or tag or catch fireflies--which is what we did as kids:)
Cameron, Seth, Christy, and Lindsay played horseshoes for a while when we returned from our walk (Seth was the champion:)). Then it was time to go. Mama couldn't be put off any longer. She had been ready for an hour or two and was getting antsy. These days she's not content anywhere long.
So a nice day came to an end.
It was meant for Mama, but, in the end, she was only with us in spirit.
Today was a day for the rest of us:) I will remember it fondly as time shared eating, hiking, visiting, playing, laughing together on the farm:)
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Wrestling with a monster
I spent part of today with a dear friend. She graciously asked if I'd accompany her to a doctor's appointment in Raleigh. I felt honored. It's not easy to ask others, even good friends, to join in on a time consuming trip to the doctor. Her husband was out of town and she can't manage to do things like she used to. It's very frustrating to her but she doesn't show impatience and seldom complains.
She's a lovely, graceful, sweet person. She is elegant, tall and slender, in the prime of her life.
But a monster has stolen her independence.
It has robbed her of her balance, her quick thinking, given her slurred speech and numbness in her fingertips. It gives her sleepless nights filled with great pain.
This monster is scary, lurking around the corners of her and her family's lives day and night, night and day. It pushes her down, takes away her appetite, makes dressing a chore, ties her to a walker and, more and more, to her home. It reduces her to living moment by moment, seeking God's mercy.
The monster?
MS!
I have another precious, kind, friend who suffers from a different form of MS. She struggles to carry on, unrelenting in her daily activities. She is still mobile, driven to help others. She serves her church with great devotion, a woman of faith. Oftentimes I marvel at her energy! She's not one to sit still, but she has found within the last year that this monster demands she use a cane once in a while, and it demands rest. So, now and then she listens and does become still for a time.
MS----the culprit, the evil one. One day, in God's mercy, it will be cornered, arrested, and put to death.
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
Till then, friends are good medicine:)
She's a lovely, graceful, sweet person. She is elegant, tall and slender, in the prime of her life.
But a monster has stolen her independence.
It has robbed her of her balance, her quick thinking, given her slurred speech and numbness in her fingertips. It gives her sleepless nights filled with great pain.
This monster is scary, lurking around the corners of her and her family's lives day and night, night and day. It pushes her down, takes away her appetite, makes dressing a chore, ties her to a walker and, more and more, to her home. It reduces her to living moment by moment, seeking God's mercy.
The monster?
MS!
I have another precious, kind, friend who suffers from a different form of MS. She struggles to carry on, unrelenting in her daily activities. She is still mobile, driven to help others. She serves her church with great devotion, a woman of faith. Oftentimes I marvel at her energy! She's not one to sit still, but she has found within the last year that this monster demands she use a cane once in a while, and it demands rest. So, now and then she listens and does become still for a time.
MS----the culprit, the evil one. One day, in God's mercy, it will be cornered, arrested, and put to death.
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
Till then, friends are good medicine:)
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Little acts of kindness
Today I visited my mama. She lives in Pinehurst at Carolina House, an assisted living home, in the Discovery unit. I try my best to go down weekly. Sometimes we go out to lunch, sometimes we drive around Aberdeen or Southern Pines or Pinehurst, sometimes we drop in on my sister and brother who both live on the family farm not too many miles away, or, every now and then, we go shopping.
When I headed south from Apex this morning I decided, spur of the moment, I would take Mama shopping at Walmart for only the second time since she's moved to Carolina House. One big reason to go: it has a wheelchair. I have scoped the Sandhills area and found only 3 places with a wheelchair for customers; Belks, Goody's and Walmart.
One big reason not to go: the last time we went to Walmart, it was difficult. The handicapped parking was full, which meant I had to pull up in front of the store, run in and find a wheelchair, help Mama into the chair, then leave her while I found a place to park. I worried about her forgetting where she was or who she was with while I searched for a space. I finally had to settle on one in the "lower forty":( Seems in a retirement community Walmart tends to be busy all the time! After we finally got in (and Mama was relieved to see me return!) we got along fine, but I was exhausted, and we had only begun!
Today was a treat. The Walmart Greeter gave us his 'best' chair. Then a dear lady stopped and held the wheelchair while I helped Mama from the car. She wheeled her into the store and stayed with her until I parked. And the closest handicapped parking space became availabe just when I needed it---Somebody was looking out for us:) The wheelchair was easy to maneuver and could turn on a dime:) We had a grand time checking out isle after isle of items in every size and shape and color. We bought a blue brush, a blue knit shirt, and pink and blue socks--she loves pink and blue:)
A day shopping at Walmart can be quite a gift, especially when strangers perform little acts of kindness:)
When I headed south from Apex this morning I decided, spur of the moment, I would take Mama shopping at Walmart for only the second time since she's moved to Carolina House. One big reason to go: it has a wheelchair. I have scoped the Sandhills area and found only 3 places with a wheelchair for customers; Belks, Goody's and Walmart.
One big reason not to go: the last time we went to Walmart, it was difficult. The handicapped parking was full, which meant I had to pull up in front of the store, run in and find a wheelchair, help Mama into the chair, then leave her while I found a place to park. I worried about her forgetting where she was or who she was with while I searched for a space. I finally had to settle on one in the "lower forty":( Seems in a retirement community Walmart tends to be busy all the time! After we finally got in (and Mama was relieved to see me return!) we got along fine, but I was exhausted, and we had only begun!
Today was a treat. The Walmart Greeter gave us his 'best' chair. Then a dear lady stopped and held the wheelchair while I helped Mama from the car. She wheeled her into the store and stayed with her until I parked. And the closest handicapped parking space became availabe just when I needed it---Somebody was looking out for us:) The wheelchair was easy to maneuver and could turn on a dime:) We had a grand time checking out isle after isle of items in every size and shape and color. We bought a blue brush, a blue knit shirt, and pink and blue socks--she loves pink and blue:)
A day shopping at Walmart can be quite a gift, especially when strangers perform little acts of kindness:)
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